Living without fear

I recently started watching a TV show called “The Big C”. It focuses on a woman who discovers she has cancer, and has about a year to live. As a result, she totally breaks out of her shell and tries to live life to the fullest with the limited time she has left. She tries to enjoy life more, and stops being so uptight and concerned about what other people think.
In one episode, she is in a banker’s office. When he leaves the room for a moment, she takes a giant bite out of his cinnamon bun! She has no fear of what he will say or do. She wants it, so she goes for it. What’s the worse that could happen? Now I don’t suggest that you all go out there and do the same, but this is an interesting observation of how human behavior is affected by the absence of social pressures or in this case, the absence of adherance to social pressures.
As I watched that episode, I started to think about my own life right now, and the fact that I’m kind of in the same boat as our lady with cancer. I currently have one week left at my current job, and although I’m going to be jobless and broke by the end of the month, I feel a strange sense of liberation. For example, our dress code states that we must not wear jeans, except for on casual Fridays. Well today is Thursday, and guess what? I felt like wearing jeans, so I’m wearing jeans! Take that! What are they going to do to me? Fire me? It’s already been done.  On other days, I arrive to work 15 minutes late beacuse I want to spend a few extra minutes with my kids before school. So I’m late. Big deal. The whole building isn’t going to burn down!
I just love that feeling of sweet release, knowing that I can relax the standards a bit, because I’m not trying to make the perfect impression for my boss anymore. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not a total slacker. That would just be disrespectful. (Plus, I don’t want to burn my bridges!)  But it feels like for the next few days, while I’m winding down, and they don’t have ultra-high expectations for my performance, I can actually breathe. I can have a brief break from the tight squeeze of the corporate establishment, and it’s uptight, often pointless policies. I’m almost out of the game, so sometimes, I cheat a little bit!

One Response to Living without fear

  1. Charmander says:

    Great analysis on life and work setting in general…. a weight is lifted off your shoulders… time to relax, enjoy life with the family and grasp everything in life you deserve… it’s your time and moment… go for it!!

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